Something Old, something New, something borrowed, something blue?

What are the classic wedding traditions? When is it okay to deviate from these?

Cara Totman Photography

Planning a wedding can be an overwhelming experience! Not only are you trying to accomplish planning all the important aspects you would like to have as a part of your day, but you are also inviting your nearest and dearest to join you. In a perfect world, this is ALWAYS a benevolent idea, however sometimes it can ramp up the pressure on your planning as you begin to hear everyone’s opinions on how you should and what you should plan. 
 
In case you’re starting at ground zero and not even sure what you want, we will provide you with a “classic” style wedding reception below:
 
Immediately following your ceremony – (receiving line would be “traditional” but you can always skip the receiving line and make sure to greet and thank each table later!)

00:00 Social hour
            Often guests shift this way after the ceremony, but the couple and their bridal party and families stay behind for photos!

​01:15 Introduction of the newlyweds
            Traditionally bridal party and parents would be involved in this introduction. 

01:20 First Dance, Toasts
            Typically your toasts are given by the Maid of Honor and Best Man, but sometimes another bridal party member or a parent may have been asked to speak. Depending on faith, after these speeches can be a great time for a blessing.

01:30 Meal!
      Guests typically dig into a salad course OR if there is no salad course, or things are being served buffet style, now’s the time to eat!

02:30 Cake cutting
            Dessert can’t be served until you cut the cake- that’s tradition! Cutting the cake at the tail end of dinner gets guest eyes back on you. The big question…will someone smoosh cake in the others face?

02:40 Family Dances
            Depending on your family dynamics and what traditional dances you want to incorporate, having these more formal dances before everyone is up saves clearing the dance floor. Plus you already have everyones’ attention from cutting your cake!

02:50 Party-on-down
            Now the formalities are over and you can relax! Guests will hit the dance floor and it is time for you to enjoy your company. Throughout this time your entertainment, whether it be a DJ or live band, can hop in for things like bouquet and garter toss, or any other dance floor games
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03:00 Dessert will be out!
            It will take your caterer a little time to cut cake and get the rest of dessert out. A suggestion if you and your crowd love the dance floor: have dessert served buffet style and have an announcement made once it is available! That way guests can go and grab dessert when they are ready and able and it doesn’t go to waste sitting at their tables while they’re on the dancefloor. Plus, you don’t want to stop the party to have everyone find their seats for a plated dessert course!

04:30 Last Call!
            Make sure your MC gives a last call for the bar with enough time for everyone to get their final round. That way no one is left chugging their drink at the end of the night. We all know that never ends well.

04:45 Last song!
            And make it a good one! This is the last chance to get everyone out on the dance floor together before parting ways or heading to an after party. 

​05:00 Official Send-Off
            It used to be overwhelmingly common to do an official send-off of sorts. This can be with bubbles, sparklers, rose petals, balloons- you name it. This is your grand exit! We do like to suggest that whatever you use for your send-off, please be conscious of what’s getting left behind in nature and that if you choose sparklers, make sure you talk to your coordinator ahead of time to make sure they have a logistical plan to make sure that fire safety is being enforced.
 
While this may be “how it was always done,” don’t let that stop you. At Valley Wed- we truly believe this is YOUR Day. Hear the other opinions out, and follow your own plans regardless. 
 
Some places we are seeing more variation:

• Social hour – in new trends, many couples work to get majority of their photos done prior to their ceremony (with the help of a first look), so they can just grab a few family photos after and then they themselves join the social hour! Does this mean you cant have a grand introduction as the newly weds? No way! Why not have both?
• Introductions – the sizes of bridal parties continues to shift. More and more we see creative combinations of people introduced, and sometimes- it’s just the bride and groom, while family members are announced at their seats. Nothing wrong with keeping it simple!
• Toasts – whoever you would like to give a toast, absolutely should. But keep in mind that these toasts are what stand between your guests and their meal. If you have a lengthy list of people speaking, divvy it up between your rehearsal dinner and wedding day!
• Serving style – how food is served has shifted from catered and buffet, to incorporating other options like stations or family style. Sometimes to help you get to the dance floor sooner, having guests seated from social hour to an already plated salad can help move things along!
• Cake cutting – many may choose to do this later in the evening once the dance floor is already open. Or maybe you hate being the center of attention? Perfect! Let the dance floor open and cut your cake off to the side without making a big announcement of it. The photographer can still grab some cute shots without all the pressure!
  • Traditional wedding cakes seem to be becoming a thing of the past. Increasingly it seems to be all about cupcakes, cannoli’s, ice cream bars, cobbler bars, smores bars- you name it! Not a fan of cake? Get the dessert YOU want to eat on your wedding day.
• Family dances – These can get complicated based off of family dynamics. Check out our blog post on what to do when you have multiple parents to dance with. Or again, maybe you hate the spotlight? As long as parents and guardians aren’t crushed…skip this formality!
• Send-Offs – Nowadays there tends to be less and less of these. Why? It’s not entirely clear. As weddings get longer in length, the likelihood of an afterparty is higher, meaning it doesn’t make sense to send the happy couple off already! If its your thing, they are a lot of fun! If not, great- skip it! It’s not a deal breaker for your day.

 
Sometimes it can be helpful to know what’s “traditional” and make your decisions from there. However, it is YOUR day! Make sure you plan one that you will enjoy just as much as your guests, regardless of what tradition tells us!

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Leah Freeman Photography